I THINK I'M GOING TO HOLLYWOOD MY FRIENDS...
Who's coming with me?
I've packed my bags
Leaving on a jet plane
Don't know when I'll be back again
I've always had big dreams of the big screen
I even bought myself some teeth-whitening product
And I've been practicing my Oscar acceptance speech (forcing tears)
I get off the plane at the LAX
I take a taxi with a lunatic driver and check into the (finest) hotel suite
With the little soaps
Artificial residency it is, it is
And unsanitary under black lights it is, it is
A Hollywood evening is before me
To the club we go
In the VIP I see Spritney Brears sporting a buzz cut hairdo (so hot)
Center of attention she is, she is
Hey, it looks as if Spritney's BFFAL, Haris Pilton, has pissed herself
But that's cool, because you ain't cool unless you pee yourself
Let's glorify these dirty deeds
Let's glorify these dirty deeds
Haris Pilton, your name falls from my lips among many others
You're a disgrace
Spritney you're a disgrace
Seek help
I guess it's not your fault though (only partially)
Celebrity culture is toxic
Toxic
Toxic
Poisonous
Poisonous
Celebrity culture vulture paparazzi people
There are people greater--way way way way way greater--than those you follow on barbituate binges
Celebrities and paparazzies!!!!!!!
Them kids are easily influenced
Them kids are like sponges
Just know this
Show them kids virtues
Show them kids heroes and heroines
Make them kids hunger for knowledge
Give them something to look up to
My nieces are so innocent and easily influenced
Please don't taint their young minds
Please
Please
Please
Please

And little girl Adia says, "We're gonna need all the purple in the world."
And I say, "We'll call it a Purple-topia."